I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
