Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
