my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
This toilet bowl is my home.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
