there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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