i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
