This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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