I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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