You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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