So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
