i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
