her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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