can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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