non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
