gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
