The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she pinky promised me she was 18
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
