im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
