his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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