I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
