Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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