i just had sex bonerless
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
