i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
