the condom got lost in my hair
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
