You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
