that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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