You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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