so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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