Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Randomize
