i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
