so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
