roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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