Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
