I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
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