The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
