3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
