After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
