so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
