The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
