I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
