Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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