Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
