Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
