Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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