I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
