you have to choose: penises or morals?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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