He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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