bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
What drink are we having for lunch?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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