So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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