sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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