Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
