if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
