So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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